tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60360867422154957012024-03-05T05:59:51.986-08:00JUST MY TYPEBill Faris' BlogBill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.comBlogger168125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-5368267726238209332011-05-20T19:28:00.000-07:002011-05-20T19:28:13.752-07:00Overcoming Compassion Exhaustion<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 19px;"></span><br />
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span color:#993300'="" mso-fareast-font-family:"times="" new="" roman";mso-bidi-font-family:arial;="" roman'","serif";="" style="font-size: 12pt;" times="">"W</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">hen I was a torn jacket hanging on the barbed wire<br />
You cut me free and sewed me up and here I am<br />
<br />
Isn't it hard to be the one whose phone rings all day everyday?<br />
Isn't it hard to be the strong one?"</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 11.25pt; margin-bottom: 5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 7.5pt;">- Bruce Cockburn,</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 7.5pt;"> <i>The Strong One</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 7.5pt;">, Inner City Front, 1981</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 11.25pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <!--[endif]--></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">* * * * * * * * * * * * * * </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Compassion - </span></i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><br />
The word comes from Latin roots which mean "to suffer with" or "to bear with".</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 11.25pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Compassion is an honorable trait and a true virtue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Scriptures urge us to</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">"bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6: 2). </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Indeed, God is portrayed in Scripture as having compassion (see Psalm 111:4; <br />
86: 15 for example).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The compassion of Jesus is also a matter of record (See<br />
Matthew 9: 36 for example).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As His followers, compassion should regularly<br />
characterize our interactions with others: "Finally, all of you, live in harmony</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">with one another; love as brothers, be compassionate and humble" (I Peter </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">3: 8).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i><br />
<br />
</i></span><i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Exhaustion-</span></i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><br />
The word also comes from a Latin root meaning to "draw (out)" as in to empty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Exhaustion for many people is a fact of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When in a state of exhaustion, a <br />
person feels empty inside - spent, depleted and used up - with nothing left to<br />
give.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This would appear to be the condition of the great Elijah who </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">followed up a dramatic and victorious showdown with reprobate royalty and </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">pagan prophets by running and hiding in the wilderness (see I Kings 19: 1-9).</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Like Elijah, a person who is experiencing exhaustion wants to run away and</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">hide from anything and anyone who might want something from them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i><br />
<br />
</i></span><i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Compassion Exhaustion -</span></i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">When paired together, these two words describe a state of being whereby a</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">person who is compassionate and, therefore, personally engaged with the </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">suffering and needs of others, comes to a point of depletion, exhaustion and</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">interior emptiness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a condition well known to those whose lives and/or </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">careers are people-intensive and people-oriented.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Healthcare workers, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">therapists, spiritual care givers/church leaders/church workers, hospice care <br />
providers, social workers and volunteers of many kinds are just some of those <br />
who are at high risk for compassion exhaustion.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 11.25pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">According to the Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project: </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">(www.compassionfatigue.org); people who are attracted to care giving enter<br />
the field already compassion fatigued.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">"Simply put, these are people who were taught at an early age to care for the needs of others before caring for their own needs. Authentic, ongoing self-care practices are absent from their lives".</span></i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> Although they may well be motivated by a spiritual mission or a strong personal identification with others in need (as in: "I want to make a difference!"), a lack of insight into the reality of compassion exhaustion can be a set up for burnout, moral failure, physical problems, depression and other symptoms of compassion fatigue. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 11.25pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Prevention</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 11.25pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">After a lifetime in the ministry and as a counseling professional, I have experienced my own bouts with compassion exhaustion and witnessed the impact of this condition on others. People in the throes of compassion exhaustion are almost always "good people" who mean well, serve diligently and care deeply but who arrive at a point where they feel utterly depleted. By the time they have acknowledged their inability to keep on keeping on, they may display symptoms of secondary traumatic stress such as substance abuse, isolation, spiritual confusion, apathy and emotional disconnection. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 11.25pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">One of the more exciting new aspects of my own ministry has been to learn and to teach others specific methods and habits that nourish care providers - especially those who serve the Lord - and people - in ministry. I have had the privilege of offering my services in settings such as my counseling office, in soaking prayer sessions, on Skype appointments, on extended "Pastoral Sabbath Retreats". This fall, I am looking forward to joining a small team in providing Leader Care to church leaders in a South American nation. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 11.25pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">It has been said that it is better to build a guard rail at the top of the cliff than to merely run an ambulance service at the bottom!</span></i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> And, indeed, my own experience with people in need of replenishing is that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Nevertheless, there are those who need help to find their way out of an already exhausted state of being. Thankfully, God has given us resources (ways and means) which can revive the exhausted body, soul and spirit: "He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul...." (Psalm 23: 2, 3)</span></span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; font-weight: bold;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: transparent; color: #2a2a2a; font-weight: bold;"><br />
</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-44350048008759005582011-05-10T21:04:00.000-07:002011-05-10T21:04:33.677-07:00More Mud, More Power....<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232; font-size: large;">Thanks to Kristen Benson, I can now post many more photos of our neighborhood mud cleanup from earlier this year. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232; font-size: large;">The more complete story of the mudslide cleanup appears in an earlier blog post here. And now for some mud....</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidgaMNDI1c06gM_J2lGRQ2WeiJZTTlNuNa6_PCq8Bj_tcKcoyBWmWp4b3Mtl63rIQkHr2ua5E-QY7LxiBaCic1XPvPFq_oybzZeYHGZlizuysQl8fArAYYM4vKEf4eghC0boS1ZXW2krvC/s1600/DSC_0017.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidgaMNDI1c06gM_J2lGRQ2WeiJZTTlNuNa6_PCq8Bj_tcKcoyBWmWp4b3Mtl63rIQkHr2ua5E-QY7LxiBaCic1XPvPFq_oybzZeYHGZlizuysQl8fArAYYM4vKEf4eghC0boS1ZXW2krvC/s320/DSC_0017.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Everyone could help, no matter who you were. Sandbags needed moving, mud needed to be shoveled, the power sprayer needed to do its work.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It was a mud-a-thon!</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSe4e5X-OP-eJhj1EOfA6FZK5urRpfUY8XcbBZRyPkxxktHYM2bqXyMxQuxgyv98HwB93_sY4F53gffAxLi6XmqT-tFuGncnjdS-CcIN3T4-iqzZMlH8Xrb5a2eJlOEk2SPEeTRRcWsGg0/s1600/DSC_0023.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;">j</a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSe4e5X-OP-eJhj1EOfA6FZK5urRpfUY8XcbBZRyPkxxktHYM2bqXyMxQuxgyv98HwB93_sY4F53gffAxLi6XmqT-tFuGncnjdS-CcIN3T4-iqzZMlH8Xrb5a2eJlOEk2SPEeTRRcWsGg0/s1600/DSC_0023.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSe4e5X-OP-eJhj1EOfA6FZK5urRpfUY8XcbBZRyPkxxktHYM2bqXyMxQuxgyv98HwB93_sY4F53gffAxLi6XmqT-tFuGncnjdS-CcIN3T4-iqzZMlH8Xrb5a2eJlOEk2SPEeTRRcWsGg0/s320/DSC_0023.JPG" width="212" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">One of our happy helpers: Paul Mills</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As if out of nowhere - heavy equipment! </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What a blessing and a miracle! </span></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">BTW: there is a swimming pool under there somewhere...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfWoXMeas_65XDPVfSlmp28dfH9_lGz9fwW4aY8X9aKKYrN2x-G3bzS-IiaeNOms1r50myg_k2OoT4frNmMQWTt3xMAVdd157Ig80cPiCA5kGx9qv0MQZ7aPhpkphQe9jViwBAODh8JOOQ/s1600/DSC_0031.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfWoXMeas_65XDPVfSlmp28dfH9_lGz9fwW4aY8X9aKKYrN2x-G3bzS-IiaeNOms1r50myg_k2OoT4frNmMQWTt3xMAVdd157Ig80cPiCA5kGx9qv0MQZ7aPhpkphQe9jViwBAODh8JOOQ/s320/DSC_0031.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1Gckwr1Jgu9G0gxJjr6qQxHlo7HsYuB82AZCOw3r8iXLvRhoEkbge4Dd_-IPWek765OiMYYhDR8ToEXLjCAh7KAye7wW1xWnp2gBnmdj2U3eJ7431LEhSNTLbZqWxlH9NsTV485hLhDrD/s1600/DSC_0041.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1Gckwr1Jgu9G0gxJjr6qQxHlo7HsYuB82AZCOw3r8iXLvRhoEkbge4Dd_-IPWek765OiMYYhDR8ToEXLjCAh7KAye7wW1xWnp2gBnmdj2U3eJ7431LEhSNTLbZqWxlH9NsTV485hLhDrD/s320/DSC_0041.JPG" width="320" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Young men, mud and insects - a perfect combo!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAt2CF1YN9-tZidncn9nzJZB0xrlGcvvVn7Z9HxbgHbnhQKq6mt94OZE24X_xq2PPCoPXL6tEImg6PJwlgDAGa49qNiQ2D41TDmBYyJwXGQWGkrNCftsc2qgPJxGeQgKSLm2MdOurne9yP/s1600/DSC_0035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAt2CF1YN9-tZidncn9nzJZB0xrlGcvvVn7Z9HxbgHbnhQKq6mt94OZE24X_xq2PPCoPXL6tEImg6PJwlgDAGa49qNiQ2D41TDmBYyJwXGQWGkrNCftsc2qgPJxGeQgKSLm2MdOurne9yP/s320/DSC_0035.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">From back yard to dump truck out front </span></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">courtesy of the handy Bobcat.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCT9gCbf2mImn88cVLpS8bvg4dprcy_bmTStGEAn-GUf_mNLhQyVOc2dJ02uAw0miG1kMDgb36w-jJ6e_0MtzhdXV3soCiC3_LTlJxRMlEDryE7SPurBSqhznM_lZADBS05BEErsd-DQXL/s1600/DSC_0074.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCT9gCbf2mImn88cVLpS8bvg4dprcy_bmTStGEAn-GUf_mNLhQyVOc2dJ02uAw0miG1kMDgb36w-jJ6e_0MtzhdXV3soCiC3_LTlJxRMlEDryE7SPurBSqhznM_lZADBS05BEErsd-DQXL/s320/DSC_0074.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Eric Brown Versus Mud... Eric wins!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI4kdysoBVUG6nZeYctTDhFuyfBwIfgloD98yppcz01wlDb9hezN3J3G1enHZn3ABNH1lf-ufQ2-bEKOZ92r5tHzwUJVOsUPR1K-Z590Ee3UpkthBkwuMyb6vpgGsoAhiJoKqRq0LqESyz/s1600/DSC_0112.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI4kdysoBVUG6nZeYctTDhFuyfBwIfgloD98yppcz01wlDb9hezN3J3G1enHZn3ABNH1lf-ufQ2-bEKOZ92r5tHzwUJVOsUPR1K-Z590Ee3UpkthBkwuMyb6vpgGsoAhiJoKqRq0LqESyz/s320/DSC_0112.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span></span><span></span>Organizing the youth brigade.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNVNyiM8j3RnRWxrrq3xVf5F620EACaQ0tPzOYQV-zboJqdXJ7rxCfzgw959F7AAth9Vusq3UhQ8VAI3Ye-1uqkuR95tPxCZJUbXpSbPKbkX9opDuUiElYcn8si-jE8kqoDuz2Zub8Rw59/s1600/DSC_0213.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNVNyiM8j3RnRWxrrq3xVf5F620EACaQ0tPzOYQV-zboJqdXJ7rxCfzgw959F7AAth9Vusq3UhQ8VAI3Ye-1uqkuR95tPxCZJUbXpSbPKbkX9opDuUiElYcn8si-jE8kqoDuz2Zub8Rw59/s200/DSC_0213.JPG" width="132" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUg9YvAQxZrqOEnWGdlgCSXHgbYYSPxdtoLHBhDi3g1-p4qRwk9aHrW0TuVzgUL6_y6Ojjy5H-zOzkf34Yp2iI5sbj2BI6se6q3duK0QGGcLQnou_yLwLsI5L15qqEY9XS9r-ZKshLR_6k/s1600/DSC_0210.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUg9YvAQxZrqOEnWGdlgCSXHgbYYSPxdtoLHBhDi3g1-p4qRwk9aHrW0TuVzgUL6_y6Ojjy5H-zOzkf34Yp2iI5sbj2BI6se6q3duK0QGGcLQnou_yLwLsI5L15qqEY9XS9r-ZKshLR_6k/s200/DSC_0210.JPG" width="132" /></a><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBji6yUDnlXgnE4QuLz7xNwwGWc_sKpZ0bJxZ4neU6bztFmU6BoOqkFNq2MLphz7GGJ3uIRp9cmh4BTmen66Rioq96vVpDTHa_P6xEurhHdQaHQ7j5sHDEMhDbEQHnGcvzNpsEEz2m7d18/s1600/DSC_0209.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBji6yUDnlXgnE4QuLz7xNwwGWc_sKpZ0bJxZ4neU6bztFmU6BoOqkFNq2MLphz7GGJ3uIRp9cmh4BTmen66Rioq96vVpDTHa_P6xEurhHdQaHQ7j5sHDEMhDbEQHnGcvzNpsEEz2m7d18/s200/DSC_0209.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">These females fear no mud!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The shoes tell the news.</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT8jWEzCvmK-DUTeLp38bdiYkf30r7_XwHi2c24aNNG4kYqWzGG2K9AWgsfGW6PLm2mN9e-WaoiJ6lmbcgMciRtoUdASxCJoiQ1G1bKzAuvbNFmRR-H7DcAydYBnyGGgd4E1ZmEkGjh-d_/s1600/DSC_0171.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT8jWEzCvmK-DUTeLp38bdiYkf30r7_XwHi2c24aNNG4kYqWzGG2K9AWgsfGW6PLm2mN9e-WaoiJ6lmbcgMciRtoUdASxCJoiQ1G1bKzAuvbNFmRR-H7DcAydYBnyGGgd4E1ZmEkGjh-d_/s320/DSC_0171.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUCsPIcffJNSHayJLWFDZA5FqGuos5wrMt1Z0kvANlymrD8mua8nTX88jIYwKHF7J2Hpz-wTdZ89V0f31JrMGzTwngwhAfnX6axjPsS0FgyKRIXyYkT-0ZDeaNajN_bPduGyA1mN7ECpJA/s1600/DSC_0256.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUCsPIcffJNSHayJLWFDZA5FqGuos5wrMt1Z0kvANlymrD8mua8nTX88jIYwKHF7J2Hpz-wTdZ89V0f31JrMGzTwngwhAfnX6axjPsS0FgyKRIXyYkT-0ZDeaNajN_bPduGyA1mN7ECpJA/s320/DSC_0256.JPG" width="212" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><br />
</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-29728158043350345692011-04-26T08:26:00.000-07:002011-04-26T08:26:18.128-07:00A Soul Surfer Finds Grace<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">I'm looking forward to seeing the Bethany Hamilton bio-pic "Soul Surfer" now in theaters. One reason is that I wrote about her in my book <i>How Healed Do You Want to Be? </i> I quote from the chapter below. Enjoy! - and, thanks, Bethany for the gift of faith and steadfastness of spirit you share through your life.</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;"><br />
</span></b><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;"><b>* * * * * * * *</b></span><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;"><br />
</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">“But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when <o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">you have turned back, strengthen your brothers” (Luke 22: 32).<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 200%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;"><b> </b>Bethany Hamilton was thirteen years old when she lost her left arm during a Tiger Shark attack off of the North Shore of Kaui, Hawaii. At that time, Bethany was already becoming known in the world of amateur surf competition as a true up-and-comer. The road (or shall we say<i> wave</i>) ahead looked golden for the young woman whose parents, Tom and Cheri Hamilton, had her on surfboards from the time she could walk. But on Halloween Day, 2003, the attack Bethany endured from an aggressive fourteen foot shark threatened to crush her dreams forever. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="line-height: 200%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;"> After multiple surgeries, the young surfer successfully recovered from the physical damage of the attack. Next, she would have to face the question of whether she would, or even could, surf again. Less than a month after her ordeal, Bethany was back in the water. She was determined to develop a new technique for herself that would allow her to compete in the surfing world again. It wouldn’t be easy, but Bethany was determined to get back in the game. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="line-height: 200%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;"> Throughout her childhood, the young surfer had nurtured a strong personal faith in Jesus Christ. Her maturing faith inspired Bethany to treat the shark attack as something God allowed her to go through—something that could be turned for His glory. Of course, news of her attack placed her in the worldwide media spotlight. But somehow Bethany seemed ready. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">As her story became known, her indomitable spirit and positive “can do” attitude began to inspire people everywhere. "I don't pretend to have all the answers to why bad things happen to good people,” she later wrote. “But I do know that God knows all those answers, and sometimes He lets you know in this life, and sometimes He asks you to wait so that you can have a face-to-face talk about it”<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 200%;">. </span>Such characteristic honesty endeared Bethany to a host of people around the world who had become aware of her challenges. Could a young person like her really make a comeback from such devastating circumstances?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="line-height: 200%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;"> As it turned out, Bethany’s comeback was stunning. After only a few months, she began to win and place in prestigious surfing competitions in spite of her lack of a left arm. Over the next several years her amazing accomplishments and personal testimony opened doors for her to communicate her story to millions of people. Along with newspapers and magazines, Bethany’s story was also being featured on television news segments and talk shows. “I guess they see me as a symbol of courage and inspiration”, she said. “One thing hasn’t changed—and that’s how I feel when I ‘m riding a wave. It’s like, here I am. I’m still here. It’s still me and my board in God’s ocean.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="line-height: 200%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;"> Ever since the attack first took place, Bethany has continued to turn her tragedy into a triumph. She was appointed chairwoman of Beating the Odds Foundation and has served as a spokesperson for the international compassion ministry of World Vision. Her autobiography, <i>Soul Surfer</i>, was published as well as Christian devotional books for teens. A film version of Bethany’s story is also in the works. Speaking of his daughter’s outstanding example of faith, Tom Hamilton observes: “Somehow God gave Bethany an amazing amount of grace in this. I am in awe. She never says, “Why me?”’ For Bethany, the “whys and wherefores” are simple: “This was God’s plan for my life and I’m going to go with it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="line-height: 200%;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">Messes into Messages<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div style="line-height: 200%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;"> Bethany Hamilton’s story is a great illustration of <i>redemption</i>; the fourth component of our five-dimensional healing model<i>. </i>What is redemption? One dictionary defines the word “redeem” as “to buy back, repurchase, to get or win back” (1). This could mean many things. For example, while Bethany will never get her arm back, her hopes, dreams and vision for living have returned—and then some! In the long run, her losses have been mightily redeemed for higher purposes than competitive success. They have provided Bethany with a way to bear witness to Christ and inspire others, having been “bought back” from disaster to bring blessing instead of despair. This phenomenon is not new. God has a long history of turning our messes into messages, our trials into triumphs and our tests into testimonies! How does He do this? By the power of something the Bible calls <i>grace.</i> </span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-8813293347951738472011-04-19T20:20:00.000-07:002011-04-19T20:20:59.424-07:00(Is There) Shame on You?<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><span style="color: yellow;">"<span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica; font-weight: normal;">Do not be afraid; you will not suffer <span style="font-weight: bold;">shame</span>. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the <span style="font-weight: bold;">shame</span> of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood" (Isaiah 54: 4)</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 14px;"><span style="color: #3366ff;"><br />
</span></span><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">"Shame on you". Few words pack such a sting. To put shame on someone is to assign humiliation to them and utterly dismiss them. In some cultures, "shame is worse than death" (that phrase, in fact, is a Russian proverb). But what, exactly, is the nature of shame? How does it affect us? What is the remedy?</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Although guilt and shame share some of the same moral and spiritual characteristics, some have drawn a distinction between the two. Guilt, they say, is the conviction that <em>something you have done</em> is bad. Shame, by contrast, is the conviction that <em>you</em> <em>are</em> bad. The normal cure for guilt is to make ammends for what you have done beginning with an apology or a confession. This can go a long way towards relieving guilt's persistent pangs. But how do you apologize for what you <em>are</em>? </span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Forgiven, But Still Ashamed?</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">It has been my experience that we can experience forgiveness from guilt - the guilt of our sinful actions, attitudes and behaviors - without experience total release from shame. Many Christians know what I am talking about. If you ask them if they believe or feel that God has forgiven them for what they have done, they will say: "yes!". But if you ask them if they are at peace with who they are inside - if that mercy from above has penetrated to the way they see themselves within - they will struggle to answer in the affirmative for, although forgiven, they still feel their shame. This is not only unnecessary but it diminishes what is available in the finished work of Christ as expressed in His gospel.</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Transformed Through Worship</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">In the Bible, shame is connected with idolatry. To worship false gods is to empower a shame-based life. These gods may stand in for actual demonic principalities and powers or they may be projections of self-worship. In either case idolatry is a degrading endeavor that sets us up to experience an ever-deepening sense of shame. </span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">By contrast, the Bible portrays the worship of the true and living God as ennobling, life-giving, and liberating. God is not the one who changes as we worship Him "in Spirit and in truth" - it is we who are changed "with ever increasing glory":</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">"</span></span><em><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica; font-size: 14px;">And we</span></em><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica; font-size: 14px;">, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, <em><b>are being transformed into his likeness</b></em><b> with ever‑increasing glory,</b> which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" (2 Corinthians 3: 18, NIV).</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Therefore, one of the key ways to experience release from the grip of shame is to worship God from our hearts and, in so doing, allow Him to affirm our place at His table as fully-adopted sons and daughters. </span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">The Cure</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">The cure for shame is not only to accept forgiveness for sins, but to be renewed within by the grace of God. It is to see ourselves the way He sees us. It is to be transformed in our essential self-image by the gift of His holy acceptance of us through Christ. </span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">The passage in Isaiah 53 that describes the devastating humiliation of the Suffering Servant Messiah demonstrates that He not only took the punishment for our guilt upon Himself, but also the root of shame and rejection of the self that our fallen nature has produced. From His humiliation comes our exaltation - not in vanity, but in saving grace! </span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">"</span></span><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica; font-size: 14px;">For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich" (2 Corinthians 8: 9). </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px;">ng grace! </span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px;">As we approach Good Friday and Easter Sunday, let's make sure and praise God for not only the forgiveness of sins, but the release from shame His gift of Grace provides!</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px;"> </span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-54869714854333198832011-04-14T05:19:00.000-07:002011-04-14T05:19:38.682-07:00The Pillow or the Porcupine?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><b><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;">From my "Open Letter to the Church" in </span></b><b><i><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;">How Healed Do You Want to Be?</span></i></b><b><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"><br />
<br />
"The best people I have ever known - the people I most want to be like and have most inspired me - are in my life because of you (the Church).</span></b><b><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"> </span></b><b><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"><br />
<br />
But it's also true that you have introduced me to the people who have brought me the most disappointment, the most heartache, and the most embarrassment. </span></b><b><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"> </span></b><b><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"><br />
<br />
You have wounded me but you have also healed me. Clearly, Church, you are capable of both..."</span></b><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><b><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"><br />
</span></b><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;">These days there is a lot of talk about</span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"> <i>community</i></span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;">. People speak of how they crave it - how the world (and even the Church) has become so impersonal, commercial and dehumanizing. It is said that the cure for this is something called "community". To be "in community" is to be in relationship with others - not just as passers-by but as true Brothers and Sisters. </span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 11.25pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;">When you are in community, they say, you are family. And when you are family, you really get to know one other and they really get to know you. Community is about being real, feeling connected, and shedding masks. To be "in community" is to be accepted for who you really are - and to accept others in the same way. Who doesn't want that? (Ummm, maybe you don't. Not really.) <br />
<br />
Why? Because the</span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"> <i>ideal </i></span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;">of community and the</span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"> <i>reality</i> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;">of community reside at two different addresses. </span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;">Community - REAL community - BIBLICAL community - includes soaring moments of transcendent love, deep meaning and holy awe. It also includes profound disappointment, frustrating conflict, and All even heart-rending pain. This is what the record shows - including the record of the New Testament. </span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 11.25pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;">There are times when getting to know me, the real me, can be like hugging a porcupine: the closer you get, the more it hurts. But it can also be like hugging a soft satin pillow - ooooooohhhh. The trouble is that you can't always know whether you are about to get the pillow or the porcupine. Both experiences come with the territory called "community".</span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;">God knows that we need both the pillow and the porcupine. Maybe that is why there are over 50 "one another" statements in the New Testament. These include: "Love one another... Be devoted to one another in brotherly love... Live in harmony with one another... serve one another in love... forgive one another, just as, in Christ, God forgave you... bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have with each other... do not slander one another... clothe yourself with humility towards one another..." <br />
<br />
You may notice how much ground those "one another" statements cover. That's because taking one another seriously requires us to love, forgive and humble ourselves. This is not only "not easy", it is humanly impossible - which is why we need the power of God's grace to equip us to do what we cannot do within ourselves. This is how we truly grow. <br />
<br />
In a day when so many churches emphasize crowds over community we might do well to go back to the Scriptures and compare those "one another" statements to our experiences. After all, you won't find "park next to one another" in the New Testament, nor will you see an exhortation to "nod awkwardly at one another while passing the offering plate." And just try to "greet one another with a holy kiss" and next Sunday's mixer and see where that gets you! No, real community is the kind that leaves quill marks on your arms while also awakening you to the smoothness and softness of satin.</span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-16578030961285487772011-04-04T11:16:00.000-07:002011-04-04T11:16:05.464-07:00Making Your Contribution - The Secret to Happiness?<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1.2pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1.2pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"O Divine Master, </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">to be understood, as to understand;</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">to be loved, as to love</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">For it is in giving that we receive.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life"</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">- Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">These days I think a lot about "making my contribution to the lives of others". It is on my mind when I wake up in the morning. It is something that comes up in my prayers and is a regular topic in my conversations with friends and family. This notion of "making my contribution" guides my thinking, helps meorganize my priorities, and shapes my perception of success.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"For it is in giving that we receive..." </span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If there is a secret to happiness, this is it</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. The happiest people I know are those who are actively engaged in discovering and delivering their unique contribution to the lives of others. Talk about people who are "switched on"! It is amazing to behold. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">One young mother I know is developing a support network for young moms like her through personal contacts and social networking. It is fantastic to watch her blossom as she learns more about how to add value to her ever-expanding circle of mommies. Another friend is currently being trained to teach "Art For Healing" techniques which greatly help people process their feelings and their faith. Still another just said "yes" to coaching his daughter's softball team after the original coach was unable to continue. Although he is new at coaching softball, his contribution to the team's well being is already being felt!</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I have lived 5 1/2 decades and, for some reason, I have more people like this in my life than ever. I feel like a rich man. Hanging around with "givers" is endlessly inspiring. My studies and experience tell me that contribution is the central task of the "second half" of life. </span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Being a "second-halfer" myself and having so many peers in this category may account for some of why I seem to be surrounded by so many generous souls. And yet, it is not all about age for I know some remarkable young people who value making their contribution to others at a high level as well. <br />
<br />
The outstanding characteristics shared by the majority of "givers" I know - whether younger or older - is their vibrant relationship with God and their ongoing pursuit of spiritual maturity. When an entire household is filled with the grace it is a glorious thing! I think, for example, of the two host families that open their homes to us for our Sunday house church and our Friday night Bible study group. Week after week they share their trust, their living space, their resources and their time with us at an extraordinary level. The children in these host families range in age from very young to mid and upper teens. You should see how they join their parents in their generosity and servanthood towards us so that we don't feel so much like "guests" as "family". </span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1.2pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1.2pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"O Divine Master, </span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: black; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: black; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">to be understood, as to understand;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: black; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">to be loved, as to love<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 96.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">It is getting clearer and clearer that contemporary society offers two competing world views. One is the </span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">consumer</span></b><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> mentality that frames life as a race to arrive at the finish line with the most "toys", the most applause and the most power over others. Those possessed of this worldview are never satisfied. Not only is their cup never full, it simply has no bottom. <br />
<br />
The other is a </span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">contributor</span></b><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> mentality that frames this lifetime as a gift that will soon enough come to conclusion. Therefore, their goals are not about self-aggrandizement but generosity of hand and heart. Their passion is to live with purpose - to do what they were made to do - whatever that may be. This, of course, is the biblical worldview so clearly annunciated by Jesus in His continuing call for us to be people who are "rich towards God" (Luke 12:21). </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 96.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: black; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">“For it is in giving that we receive.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: black; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.25pt;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black; color: white;">and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life"</span><span style="background-color: white;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-80579523426389575392010-12-04T19:31:00.000-08:002010-12-04T19:31:47.793-08:00Bye For NowI'm taking a break from updating this blog, though I will leave past posts on file. I am writing a weekly e-newsletter, "Gracelets", that is available to those who ask by emailing me at: bill@mypastoralcounselor.com.<br />
<br />
Thanks for stopping by! <br />
<br />
Bill Faris<div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-35941445947044367752010-11-26T07:55:00.000-08:002010-11-26T07:55:58.352-08:00Rebuilding After Loss - Part Four - It Pays to Celebrate<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 2;"><b><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">"</span></span></b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." Nehemiah 8: 10<br />
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
A new friend of mine recently quit smoking cigarettes. It has not been easy. In fact, it has been very, very difficult. Nevertheless she is succeeding in her inspired effort to remain free of the cigarette habit. As a part of her recovery, she has joined Nicotine Anonymous - a 12 Step program for recovering smokers. In N.A., a "chip" is presented as the member hits milestones in their recovery so they can mark and celebrate each one. There is, for example a "30 Day Chip" and so on. </span></span><b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
The other day, my friend was showing some of us a necklace she had made out of the chips she has earned so far. In this way, she was literally wearing the signs of her victory over cigarettes. The necklace was clever and attractive. She told us that some of the people who had taken notice of her necklace had been drawn to it as an accessory. They did not know what the chips represented. But she understands the meaning of each chip quite thoroughly. Show knows that, together, they signify victories God has helped her achieve. She knows that it really does pay to celebrate.<br />
<br />
Celebrating one's victories is an important part of rebuilding after loss. It is not only appropriate to do so, it actually important. That's because celebrations have a way of consolidating gains, building faith and adding value to the sometimes considerable efforts we put into our return from destruction. <br />
<br />
Nehemiah understood the value of celebration. He called the people to embrace joy: "Do not grieve," he told them, "for the joy of the Lord is your strength". Let me pause to point out that grief is an appropriate response to loss and allowing ones self to grieve well is key to the healing and restoration process. Nevertheless, there is a time (Nehemiah reminds us) when we must stop grieving loss and begin celebrating gains. It is important to do so, he declares to the people, because the Lord's joy brings further strength -- strength that will be needed as we seek to take our rebuilding process to the next level. <br />
<br />
There are many ways to celebrate our restoration milestones. Some deserve to be public and noisy while other are better conducted in a private and intimate manner. As we approach Thanksgiving, it is an ideal time to pause and consider what it is that God has done or is doing to help you rebuild after loss. As you take note of these things, you might want to signify or symbolize certain milestones in ways that are meaningful to you. As you do, you will no doubt find that it gives you life, increases your joy and strengthens your grip on future progress. <i><br />
<br />
</i></span></span><i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">"How can I repay the Lord for all His goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the Name of the Lord" </span></span></i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
(Psalm 116:12, 13).</span></span><b><span style="color: #773922; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-52264825544198051902010-11-09T08:52:00.000-08:002010-11-09T08:52:00.495-08:00Rebuilding After Loss, Part Two - Assessment<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 2;"><b><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">"I set out during the night with a few men. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on" (Nehemiah 2: 12) NIV</span></span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
<br />
</span></span></span></b><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">The Wisdom of Assessment<br />
<br />
A fellow pastor I know enjoys rock climbing with his son. After getting valuable experience, they decided to tackle a particularly difficult climb -- their biggest challenge yet. They decided to obtain an expert guide to assist them. <br />
<br />
Before they actually attempted the climb, the guide took them to a nearby vantage point so they could assess their challenge one piece at a time before engaging it. "The first segment of the climb will be hard", the expert told them as he drew their attention to the lower parts of the mountain. "But we'll rest there and get ready for the next part", he added as he identified a small resting place. <br />
<br />
The guide then pointed out the next segment of the climb. It would be much more difficult. He went through it with them bit-by-bit until they all understood the strategy they would use to complete it. Another resting point was identified. </span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">The third segment was very, very hard. My friend later reported that he was pretty sure he would not be able to complete it. Their guide assured them that they were up to the task but it would take everything they had. Once again, they reviewed each part of that final climb in detail before they struck out to begin.<br />
<br />
Taking Time to Assess<br />
<br />
In our hurry to escape the pain, anxiety, or discouragement that follows grief, loss and major reversals; we may be tempted to skip the assessment phase of the rebuilding process. This can actually delay our progress. Both Nehemiah and the rock climbing expert model the importance of first making a good assessment of the challenges we are facing before diving in.<br />
<br />
A good assessment is holistic and includes the spiritual, emotional, physical and relational aspects of rebuilding after loss. We need to look carefully at what it will take to restore our sense of spiritual balance. Nothing is more fundamental to a good recovery than a clear sense of the presence of God and His promises to us in Christ. <br />
<br />
A thorough assessment of our emotions is also in order. Are we emotionally over or under reacting? Are we managing stress, anxiety and grief reasonably well? <br />
<br />
Physically, we need to pay attention to our sleeping and eating habits. If these have changed much in either direction (noticeably more eating or sleeping or noticeably less), we would do well to take note. We will need our best physical resources to manage the overall task ahead. <br />
<br />
Finally, we must properly assess our relationships. Who do we have who can be present to our process with us in a helpful way? Who do we need to add to that list? <br />
<br />
Once we have undergone a good assessment of the rebuilding process, the overall advances will be much greater than if we rush to rebuild too quickly. </span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"> * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * </span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">"Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace. I also told them about the gracious hand of my God upon me and what the king had said to me. They replied, “Let us start rebuilding.” So they began this good work” (Nehemiah 2:17, 18)</span></span></span><b><span style="color: #773922; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-59237346418153333182010-11-01T15:50:00.001-07:002010-11-01T15:50:03.388-07:00Rebuilding After Loss, Part One<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span style="color: #773922; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Nehemiah, one of the Hebrews who had been living in exile in Babylon finally got news from home. But it wasn't good:<br />
<br />
<b>"Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down and its gates have been burned with fire"</b>. <br />
<br />
Nehemiah was heartbroken: <b>"When I heard these things, I wept..."</b>(Neh.1:3,4).<br />
<br />
Loss. Reversal. Bereavement. These experiences have the power to stun us - to "knock the wind" out of us - and to even shut us completely down with sorrow. Many of the people living in our own times are experiencing reversal and loss due to our country's economy as well as other factors. For many, these are trying times, indeed.<br />
<br />
Do you know someone who is seeking to rebuild after grief or loss? Perhaps you have friends, family members and neighbors who have lost jobs. So many Americans have lost homes and other prized possessions as the financial pressures have taken their toll. And there are other kinds of losses, too. These include the loss of one's dignity, ability to trust, and sense of personal identity or safety. Perhaps you are going through such a time. <br />
<br />
Life sometimes includes "mega-losses" such as when people lose important friends, a spouse, or a child. Enduring such reversals puts us on the receiving end of some of life's heaviest possible blows. And so, all of this begs the question: can people successfully recover from such devastating circumstances? I believe the answer is "yes". But restoration is not a quick or easy process.<br />
<br />
Rebuilding Again - Beginning in Prayer<br />
<br />
After expressing his initial sorrow and grief, Nehemiah began to engage the Lord in prayer. Prayer is certainly "Job One" in the rebuilding process for we cannot come back from powerful losses well without the wisdom, comfort, grace and empowering presence of God. <br />
<br />
Nehemiah's prayer life remained rich throughout the daunting project of restoration he led the people to begin. Along the way he faced stiff resistance from enemies, the need to keep a large team of workers motivated and other logistical and personal challenges.<br />
<br />
Wise Nehemiah knew that this re-building would require more than what human hands and resources could provide. Again and again, he called on God for help. As he did, he shared each challenge and victory with the Lord as if He was right beside him in the process (He was!).<br />
<br />
Just as prayer played a major role in Nehemiah's rebuilding effort, so must it play a key role in your own loss recovery story. Many testify that prayers of many kinds - from gutsy, intensive prayers of praise and petition to deeply reflective prayers of Christ-centered meditation - have been their lifeline while in restoration and rebuilding mode.<br />
<br />
"</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Then I (Nehemiah) said: <b>"O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps His covenant of love with those who love Him and obey His commands, let Your ear be attentive and Your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before You day and night for your servants, the people of Israel ..." (Neh. 1:5, 6a)</b></span><span style="color: #773922; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-868906263979687452010-10-26T06:48:00.000-07:002010-10-26T06:48:57.408-07:00Beyond Love - It Takes Respect<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage" crooned Frank Sinatra, "The Chairman of the Board". Well, Mr. Chairman, true enough. But while love may lead a couple to begin a marriage, it is respect that will enable them to sustain it through thick and thin. <br />
<br />
So what are some of the things that can engender the all-important commodity of respect between spouses? One such factor must certainly be the keeping of promises.<br />
<br />
Promise Keeper - Promise Breaker<br />
<br />
Some years ago, a friend found himself embroiled in a long period of conflict with his wife. "She expects me to be PERFECT", he complained. A wise advisor issued him a surprising challenge: "I'll give you until sundown to make a list of all the promises you have made to her and then broken". <br />
<br />
At first, my friend was stumped. But, after awhile, his mental logjam broke and by the next day (he asked for an extension!) he had come up with over 100 broken promises - large and small. This simple exercise helped him to reinterpret the breakdown in his relationship. Maybe his wife didn't expect him to be perfect. Maybe she just wanted him to be reliable.<br />
<br />
Respect Squared<br />
<br />
Another way to encourage respect from your spouse is to show it. I'll be the first to say that most of us males are magnetically drawn toward those who show us respect. So, whether you are a husband or a wife, let me ask you: is there anyone on Planet Earth who should deliver a message of respect to your spouse more than you? <br />
<br />
Showing respect invites respect to be shown. This has certainly been true of Robin and me. She is one of my heroes and I enjoy communicating my respect for her to her, and to others as well. I love it when I observe my married children enjoy a mutually respectful relationship with their spouses, too. My hope is that the respect I have communicated for them - and for their mother - have contributed to the strength of their own partnerships.<br />
<br />
R-E-S-P-E-C-T<br />
<br />
Aretha Franklin, "The Queen of Soul" made a fortune singing a song about the desire to feel respect from their partner. "Find out what it means to me" she urges again and again in that solid gold voice. Perhaps if we found out a little more about what r-e-s-p-e-c-t means to love and marriage, we would find new vitality in this relationship and in the other important relationships in our life as well.</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> <br />
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-78960995297154926292010-10-23T15:06:00.000-07:002010-10-23T15:06:56.262-07:00What Makes You Strong, Part Three<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">What is it that -- according to studies -- improves mood, relieves anxiety, maximizes health, sparks creativity and engenders feelings of love? Giving back.<br />
<br />
It turns out that one of the best things you can do for your self is to do something for others. That's right: giving makes you strong. But of course, Jesus indicated this very thing when He said:<br />
<br />
"If you give, you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use in giving--large or small--it will be used to measure what is given back to you."(Luke 6:38, NLT)<br />
<br />
Love in a Teapot<br />
<br />
Sometimes we may thinking that giving back or sharing ourselves with others needs to be a grand affair but this need not be the case. The key to giving is to find ways and means that are uniquely your own and which communicate true care and concern.<br />
<br />
One of my favorite examples of simple and creative giving involves a friend's mother who has a well-documented knack for acquiring inexpensive teapots at garage sales and the like. When she becomes aware of a neighbor or friend who is going through a tough time, or who is ailing or who could just use a lift; she springs to action. <br />
<br />
Before long, a small plant or flower is planted into a teapot planter and the simple-yet-elegant gift is ready to be presented. Imagine what a delightful surprise this simple kindness provides to the person on the receiving end. And, of course, this thoughtful woman's gift comes with an offer of prayer, too!<br />
<br />
This Grace of Giving<br />
<br />
In 2 Corinthians 8:7, the Apostle Paul urges us to excel in what he describes as "this grace of giving". How wonderful when our giving is not a chore, but a "grace"! How life-giving it is when we discover that our tired, depleted, crowded souls can come to life again as we give to someone else. It is as if the overflow of the "grace of giving" comes back to us and strengthens us again.<br />
<br />
"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him" (Col. 3: 17).</span></span></span> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-8392024012858584702010-10-13T06:38:00.000-07:002010-10-13T06:38:17.001-07:00What Makes You Strong, Part Two<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 2;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">"Why weren't you all the Bill Faris I made you to be?" </span></span></i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
<br />
I have a friend who believes God will ask me that question (among others) when I stand before Him to give an account for my life. Whether or not my friend is right, I do believe that it matters to God that I live in an authentic manner. When we are real, we are strong. When we hide, we weaken ourselves, give less glory to God, and minimize our contribution to others. </span> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 2; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Hiding Places<br />
</span> </span><b><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">"God is light,"</span></span></b><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">the Scriptures tell us,</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">"and in Him is no darkness </span></b></span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">at all" (I John 1:5). God does not live in shadows. He is fully and perfectly self-aware -- 100% actualized in the blazing light of His own perfect knowledge. <br />
<br />
I, on the other hand, am practiced at maintaining certain hiding places in my life. This represents a foolish attempt to conceal my true self from God, the world, and even my own awareness. The more I hide, the more of my strength I deal away. So why do I do it?<br />
<br />
Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are!<br />
<br />
Fear. Shame. Risk. Doubts. Sin. These are some of the things I figure into the risk/reward calculation of whether or not I will try to remain in hiding. Stacking up these kinds of things in the dark only load me down with burdens and illusions that weaken me.<br />
<br />
The Apostle John reminds us that: </span> </span><b><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">"if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son, cleanses us from all sin</span></span></b><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">" (I John 1: 7).</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
<br />
When I step out of my shadows into the light, I find God waiting for me there. I find forgiveness and cleansing, connection with others and true knowledge of my self. This is where my real contribution can begin. This is where my real strength lies.<br />
<br />
So, let me ask you: are you all the __</span> </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">_(your name here)</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">___ God has made</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">you</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">to be? If not, pray that the Spirit we lead you out of the shadows and into the light where your strength can truly be found.</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-47036184452084886852010-10-04T06:40:00.000-07:002010-10-04T06:40:12.836-07:00What Makes You Strong, Part One<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOLG-ngAbz5V0nvpOUsOeNXciMnQAxfeaxifyKkU1TQiD4uFmYWRhYQf__hPZaCFs-XWtSm7w0O61dG0gWn0RTZb_e9SLidP-7jjwbQwlYUME_ekRg0bl578RGCxwwLmhmE9rT5BiTRKuY/s1600/strongman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOLG-ngAbz5V0nvpOUsOeNXciMnQAxfeaxifyKkU1TQiD4uFmYWRhYQf__hPZaCFs-XWtSm7w0O61dG0gWn0RTZb_e9SLidP-7jjwbQwlYUME_ekRg0bl578RGCxwwLmhmE9rT5BiTRKuY/s320/strongman.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Courier New';"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New';"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 2;"><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';">Žydrūnas</span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';">Savickas. The name of this Lithuanian competitor may not mean much to you, but according to some he is the world's strongest man. After suffering a serious knee injury, Mr.Savickas</span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';">returned to competition and eventually earned the strongman title, which he currently holds for the second consecutive year.</span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';">But, as we all know, there is more than one way to be strong in this life. In</span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';">Ephesians, the Apostle Paul urges us to </span><b><i><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';">"be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might" </span></i></b><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';">(Eph. 6:10). <br />
<br />
While I have no intention of challenging Mr.Savickas for his physical Strongman title any time soon; I am continuing to pursue my desire to become "strong in the Lord". Doing so is central to my desire to "finish well" in this life.</span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"><br />
<br />
How about you? What is it that makes you strong?<br />
<br />
Pursuing interior strength - strength of faith, strength of character, strength of heart - is a lifelong endeavor. So it might help us to pause and consider just what those things are that can truly make us strong. In the next three issues of</span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';">Gracelets, I will be identifying three things that give us strength beginning with</span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"> <i>PURPOSE.</i></span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"><br />
<br />
</span><b><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';">Strength Through Purpose</span></b><b><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"><br />
</span></b><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"><br />
The famous evangelist Billy Sunday observed that "more men fail through lack of purpose than through lack of talent". How true! Knowing our purpose is Job One in living a life of meaning, influence, satisfaction and spiritual strength. <br />
<br />
The Apostle Paul makes it clear that our purpose is tied inexorably to the purposes of God. Once we understand that our fundamental sense of purpose is hidden in God and His wise Master Plan, we can begin to make strides in our spiritual strength and development.</span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"> <b><i>"All things work together for the good for those who love God and are called <u>according to His purpose</u>"</i></b> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';">(Romans 8:28). <br />
<br />
It makes me sad to think of how many people, especially younger people, are being raised without any sense of purpose. It seems that a good many of our institutions of higher education propagate the falsehood that human existence is a matter of happenstance - as if each of us are mere bundles of consciousness randomly burped up by an indifferent universe. No wonder why so many people are poisoned by nihilism. No wonder why so many are led to become</span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"> <b><i>"lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God" </i></b></span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';">(2 Timothy 3:4).<br />
<br />
But, by contrast, we become "strong in the Lord", and strong within ourselves, when we understand that God created us for a purpose. I believe that the unique nature of every human fingerprint is God's way of reminding us that we are creatures of His sovereign design. <br />
<br />
The more you believe your life has purpose and meaning beyond your own survival, the more you will live into a Higher Plan and the stronger you will become. You may never be the next Žydrūnas Savickas</span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';"> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: 'Courier New';">when it comes to lifting weights, but living from a God-given sense of purpose can make you a moral and spiritual champion within!</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-10399549618197181582010-09-28T09:56:00.000-07:002010-09-28T10:01:04.590-07:00Old Man "Can't"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3Zus9jtMAGCrF-xTQfQlmAyZj4Bdd1WBN72kY4QtAVLoxnPTYQQGGyTtBfDFNJv0VK0Fg0Rx5t9Wi8GwCMwDi_hCRfAu01aF38AZBECTV-Y8ffAuPF0OCrdTDN9E0HRmR9D96l7shO0__/s1600/052.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3Zus9jtMAGCrF-xTQfQlmAyZj4Bdd1WBN72kY4QtAVLoxnPTYQQGGyTtBfDFNJv0VK0Fg0Rx5t9Wi8GwCMwDi_hCRfAu01aF38AZBECTV-Y8ffAuPF0OCrdTDN9E0HRmR9D96l7shO0__/s320/052.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5522009876453982738" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; "><h2 style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; color: rgb(119, 57, 34); font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-align: center; "><span style="font-size: 20px; "><span style="font-family: 'Courier New'; "><b>Old Man "Can't"<br /></b></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New'; "><span style="font-size: 14px; "><span ><span style="font-size: 14px; "><span ><br /></span></span></span></span></span></h2><h2 style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; color: rgb(119, 57, 34); font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-align: left; "> </h2><span style="font-family: 'Courier New'; "><span style="font-size: 14px; "> The little girl was frustrated and in tears when her grandfather came upon her outside by the well. The family had no running water in their Carolina home and mother had sent the young child to the well on a hot day to fetch a couple buckets full of water.</span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; "><span style="font-family: 'Courier New'; "><span style="font-size: 14px; "><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; "><span style="font-family: 'Courier New'; "><span style="font-size: 14px; "><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(pictured: My wife Robin and Dr. Williams at Robin's graduation from Azusa Pacific)</span></i></b><br /><br /> It was a difficult task for an eight year to draw the water into those empty buckets and then lug the heavy load back uphill to the house. She was understandably struggling to complete such a challenging task.<br /><br /> "What's the matter, baby girl?" the grandpa asked the upset child. "Oh, Grandpa" she sighed, "it's so hot and these buckets are so heavy. I'm too little to do this kind of work. I can't cart these heavy buckets all the way back uphill to the house. I just <em>can't</em>..." <br /> "Now wait just a minute," the wise old man replied. "<strong>Old man "Can't" died about two thousand years ago. You can do <em>all things through Christ </em>who gives you the strength<i>.</i></strong><i>" <br /> </i>Those words, taken from Scripture, (Philippians 4:13) found their way deep into the heart of the child. Over the decades that followed, her belief that "I can do all things through Christ" fueled her progress.<br /><br /> Although she began life as a poor girl in a sharecropper's family, Helen Easterling -Williams was forever changed by her Grandfather's words. His confident assertion that "Old Man Can't" passed away for good on the day Christ rose from the dead fueled her considerable accomplishments. She reasoned that, as a believer, His power in her could make all things possible - and she acted on that faith.<br /><br /> She continued her education and began her rise to positions of influence and impact. Not only did she complete high school but she went on to earn her undergraduate, graduate and doctoral degrees.<br /><br /> Today, Dr. Williams is the Dean of Education at Azusa Pacific University - the institution of higher education where my wife, Robin, became acquainted with her during her own studies there. On the several occasions I have met Dr. Williams, I found myself in awe of her radiant spirit, deep faith, and affirming, empowering presence.<br /><br /> It's amazing to think that it all began for this most remarkable woman on that hot day by the well when a faith-filled man shared the good news that "Old Man Can't" would never keep her from her God-given course if she would simply believe that she could "do all things through Christ" - and never stop.<br /><br /> I wonder what stories you will tell as you apply those wise and timeless words to your challenges and opportunities?<br /></span></span></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-36136866632661690632010-09-06T07:19:00.001-07:002010-09-06T07:21:11.972-07:00The Sinkhole and the Mountain Part four"You have to think differently".<br /><br />That's the theme we've been mining in my Gracelets weekly e-newsletter over the past several issues. <br /><br />Thinking differently requires ALL FOUR of the following:<br /><br />* Grace<br />* Mental Discipline<br />* A Compelling Vision or Purpose<br />* Close Relationships With "Mountaineers"<br />(those who organize themselves around God-given vision, purpose and imagination)<br /><br />A Compelling Vision or Purpose<br /> <br />The "sanctified imagination" is one of the most powerful engines of transformation on earth. Put simply, we will "be" what we "see". <br /><br />Our preferred future begins as a seed of thought and imagination inside of us. At that point it either languishes unnurtured, undeveloped and unacknowledged within or it begins to take shape as we invite grace to give it life.<br /><br />This is not merely a matter of changing roles or jobs while remaining the same inside. It is better understood as a "metamorphosis." <br /><br />The Greek word "metamorphasis" literally means: a comprehensive change in form. It is a distinctive sort of "extreme makeover" that is driven by forces within the person or thing that is being changed. At some point, these forces are powerful enough to alter outward appearance and influence. <br /><br />The Apostle Paul contrasts "metamorphosis" (transformation from within) to the exterior remolding that a given object undergoes when exposed to powerful external forces of heat and pressure. These forces may succeed in outwardly "conforming" the object to a predetermined mold but, for Paul, this is not how believers are to be changed. Instead, he writes, we are to be "transformed" by "the renewing of your mind."<br /><br />The Strong's Lexicon describes the word for "renewing" in this text as a: "renewal, renovation, complete change for the better".<br />We will change as we renovate the way we think until it completely changes for the better.<br />While this is undeniably a work of grace, it is a process with which we are called to engage, cooperate, and actively fuel.<br /><br />Glory to Glory<br /><br />The word metamorphosis appears again in Second Corinthians, chapter three. Here, it is used to describe a transformation process that is rooted in a visionary way of seeing ourselves anew (see II Cor. 3:18). <br /><br />This new way of seeing is energized as we gaze deeply into the "glory of the Lord" in a manner similar to the way we look at ourselves in a mirror. <br /><br />The longer we behold His glory and the more intently we concentrate on its features, the more we began to resemble what we see. In this way our own self image moves "from one degree of glory to another" (RSV) as the Spirit propels this continuous process of change.<br /><br />Gazing into the Sinkhole<br /><br />How sad, then, that we spend so much time gazing intently into our sinkholes. <br /><br />Sad because the longer and more intently we gaze into our faults, fears, limitations and anxieties the more we become our faults, fears, limitations and anxieties. "You are what you eat" it used to be commonly said. Well, in fact, you are what eats you.<br /><br />You have to think differently.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-60646385493935384372010-08-29T06:09:00.000-07:002010-08-29T06:11:36.896-07:00The Sinkhole and the Mountain, Part Two<span style="font-weight:bold;">You have to think differently.<br /></span><br />"Sinkhole Thinking" (organizing yourself around your anxieties) is consuming your time, cloaking your options, and limiting your availability to God's highest and best. It harnesses you to a fear-based life and limits your imagination. <br /><br />You have to think differently. But how?<br /><br />Four things are required if you want to change the way you think:<br /><br />* Grace<br />* Mental Discipline<br />* A Compelling Vision or Purpose<br />* Close Relationships With "Mountaineers" <br />(those who organize themselves around God-given vision, purpose and imagination)<br /><br />The problem with many would-be mountaineers is that they have only taken on one, two or three of these required components when all four are actually necessary. <br /><br />Beginning with this e-newsletter, we will examine these four components more closely.<br /><br />Grace:<br /><br />In my book, "How Healed Do You Want to Be?", I describe grace as "holy electricity". This is so you can remember that grace is an active power that surges through your life through faith in Christ. It is the divine power to create change in anything it touches. It is the "juice" we need to scale mountains - and you cannot conjure it up yourself. You must get it through direct contact with God's Holy Spirit.<br /><br />Often, the side of grace that represents God's mercy (His kindness and compassion) is presented as the whole picture. But grace is not only mercy, but power:<br /><br />"But by the grace of God I am what I am," wrote the Apostle Paul, "and His grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them -- yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me" (I Corinthians 15:10).<br /><br />Praying Gracefully<br /><br />Many of our prayers do not treat grace in this manner. "God give me the grace to get through this" is not a bad or wrong prayer, but if we think of grace only in terms of the power to "get through stuff" we betray the fact that we are still organized around avoiding what we fear. <br /><br />When we tap into the electric side of grace, we find ourselves praying Mountaineer prayers:<br /><br />"Lord, rock my world! Shatter the limits, O God, and fill my limbs, my heart and my mind with divine energy to grip the side of the mountain of my inspired imagination and PULL UP!" <br /><br />(If you remember the sound of William Wallace's rag tag army shouting and shaking their ad hoc weapons right before they charge the fully-armored English soldiers in the movie "Braveheart", you might throw a similar shout or two in here). <br /><br />Sinkhole Prayers, and I have prayed thousands of them, are usually not filled with zest or hope but with resignation and pleas for survival. Fine. <br />But how many such prayers have you prayed compared to Mountaineer prayers that are full of vision, purpose, energy and imagination? What does that tell you about how you see God? See yourself? Frame your possibilities? Approach your day? <br /><br />You have to think differently.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-84908427956789026012010-08-18T07:21:00.001-07:002010-08-18T07:32:09.906-07:00The Sinkhole and the Mountain, Part One<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX9sMSS69q4o7WU8T_obMg1dPNxw3qm1PgOeYGTuaTNb6-ofWmp3wdWxXdfE2ljFK96BwlwKzvAA3Zf3fbgpyrKff8wYWpCN3ZeBJuPB4PCKUpJMT_jW5GWYq3zNqQu0ZsGlhgVFjc1y3j/s1600/person-on-mountain-top.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX9sMSS69q4o7WU8T_obMg1dPNxw3qm1PgOeYGTuaTNb6-ofWmp3wdWxXdfE2ljFK96BwlwKzvAA3Zf3fbgpyrKff8wYWpCN3ZeBJuPB4PCKUpJMT_jW5GWYq3zNqQu0ZsGlhgVFjc1y3j/s320/person-on-mountain-top.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5506757598476961426" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKxBSuRI8HoSrqKEGxzzzjhY9y9PXJvn9WNBfgADnvcn9Z2DeGwiBS6QLPcMLsc4g-dTCnLboc_KnB2KD3_heMfNBbogWk0TgIvMYwK954_TxavXyF1vm40-OP-rKAv2Ri9kxQD7s6Bc28/s1600/sinkhole.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKxBSuRI8HoSrqKEGxzzzjhY9y9PXJvn9WNBfgADnvcn9Z2DeGwiBS6QLPcMLsc4g-dTCnLboc_KnB2KD3_heMfNBbogWk0TgIvMYwK954_TxavXyF1vm40-OP-rKAv2Ri9kxQD7s6Bc28/s320/sinkhole.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5506757338299165410" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"We saw the Nephilim (giant-sized occupants of the Promised Land) there...<br />We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them." Numbers 13: 33<br /><br />There, in front of you, is a sinkhole and a mountain. <br /><br />The sinkhole represents your fears and anxieties. It is practically bottomless. You don't want to fall into it. It is dark. It is frightening. Thinking about the things that live in that sinkhole makes your heart race and your breath go shallow. <br /><br />Over there is a mountain. It is majestic, rugged, challenging and inspiring. To climb it will take effort. It will take forethought and fortitude. But, man, the view from the top must be splendid! <br /><br />The mountain represents your God-given hopes, your dreams, your vision and your purpose. <br /><br />You have a limited amount of time. You have a limited amount of resources. You must organize your time, your resources, your ability and your energies around one of two central endeavors: <br /><br />1. Avoid the sinkhole<br />2. Climb the mountain<br /><br />Which are you organized around? One way to find out is to check your prayers.<br /><br />Are they mostly "sinkhole" prayers - "Oh please, Oh please, Oh please don't let me fall into that sinkhole!! (Repeat)".<br /><br />Or are they "mountain climbing" prayers - "Oh please, Oh please, Oh please let me climb that mountain by the strength and grace You provide! <br /><br />Let me plant a banner at its peak that bears the words: "to the Glory of God" and let it snap in the wind as I survey the view and sing Your praise! (repeat)". <br /><br />Mental Disciplines<br /><br />I find that, left to myself, I can easily get focused on living an avoidant life. Sinkhole-focused, my prayers, interior conversation and daily approach to living can orbit my anxieties they way the planets orbit the sun. Bleah...<br /><br />Or, by the grace of God, I can practice the mental disciplines required to re-orient myself around the mountain climb. This requires me to think differently about just about everything.<br /><br />Sometimes, especially in the wee hours of the morning, I wake up, my mind racing around the sinkhole, my thoughts circling it like a ball circles a spinning roulette wheel. At those times, I have to discipline my thoughts with prayer, with Scripture, with recollections of the goodness of God and so on. Sometimes I lift my hand up into the air, fist clenched, and call on God. <br /><br />I will fight "sinkhole thinking" by re-training my thoughts toward the mountain He has shown me is waiting there for me to climb:<br /><br />"I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come? My help comes from the LORD who made heaven and earth" (Psalm 121: 1, 2).<br /><br />to be continued...<div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-82722638696682094532010-08-08T08:06:00.000-07:002010-08-08T08:12:15.518-07:00Our New House Church BlogIf you haven't already seen it, you might enjoy a quick trip over to our new house church blog at: Vineyardathome.blogspot.com<br /><br />We're coming up on our second year of life together as a microchurch and the blog is our place to share our perceptions and experiences as we go. I'm not the only one who will be contributing to this new blog and I look forward to hearing what others have to say. <br /><br />House church / organic church / microchurch -- whatever you want to call it; there is no doubt that the appetite for alternatives to traditional church is growing. If you'd like to hear from some practitioners of alternative church who are not against "big church", give it a whirl.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-27477229137776687542010-08-06T07:54:00.000-07:002010-08-06T07:56:25.604-07:00Actually, Life is Like a Box of Kleenex<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizksJXCAm_VKhZF2nECScpi28VIsg9ncnm8CU5RUVzEBqIiBq8NxdHsc701ZdI9eoWNU0afxM5hq_OMJjg0BF-r2Bgj_UDJwEyDzZ6IueQHznbKa0QoR4QmWKOsvJlVAuj0AFIN4XfvIAK/s1600/kleenex.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 266px; height: 253px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizksJXCAm_VKhZF2nECScpi28VIsg9ncnm8CU5RUVzEBqIiBq8NxdHsc701ZdI9eoWNU0afxM5hq_OMJjg0BF-r2Bgj_UDJwEyDzZ6IueQHznbKa0QoR4QmWKOsvJlVAuj0AFIN4XfvIAK/s320/kleenex.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5502310701889091506" /></a><br />"There is a time for everything, and a season for every <br />activity under heaven..." (Ecclesiastes 3: 1)<br /> <br />Tom Morey (creator of the the Boogie Board) has a new invention.<br />His latest creation is a foam wheel that makes a surfboard easier to <br />transport. When reading an article about Morey and his invention<br />I was struck by the way he talked about his creative process. "My<br />inventions are like Kleenex in a box", he said. "I have to pull one <br />out to get to the one after that."<br /><br />While Mr. Morey's description is a clever way to describe inventing<br />things, I believe it also paints a picture of our overall life experience.<br /><br />Our lives, it seems, are not only "like a box of chocolates" (as <br />Forrest Gump would say). They are also like a box of Kleenex.<br />That's because reality has layers. Each layer consists of a <br />particular collection of experiences, discoveries,failures, successes, pains, <br />triumphs, relationships and questions that we must process. Like <br />Mr. Morey's Kleenex box of new ideas, each collection of <br />perceptions and experiences must deliver its challenges and gifts <br />to us before we can be thoroughly present to the next one.<br /><br />This is one reason I am drawn to the biographical stories of the <br />Bible. Each one introduces us to the key seasons in the life of <br />Joseph, or Ruth, or David or Paul in a stream of mini-stories.<br />David, for example, has his period of herding sheep in the back<br />country of Judah. It is there that he learns to slay the lion and the <br />bear. How could he have ever guessed that those experiences would<br />prepare him to face Goliath at age twenty? <br /><br />By applying this concept to our own lives, we might discern some<br />important "chapter breaks" in our own development. Each period<br />will somehow bear the fingerprints of God whether we were aware <br />of Him at the time or not. By seeking to be present to the themes, <br />life lessons and relationships we identify, we can better see how <br />the Lord used each season to prepare us for the next. <br /><br />In my journal, I once noted that God had been teaching me<br />that everything in my life prior to any given day had the potential <br />to prepare me for that days challenges and opportunities. Not only<br />do I believe this to be true, but I also believe we cannot successfully<br />"skip ahead" if we are to truly grow spiritually. We will need today's <br />experiences to ready us for tomorrow. Understanding this not only<br />packs our lives with new meaning; it also helps us see why we must <br />pull out our experiential Kleenex tissues one at a time! <br /><br />So thanks, Mr. Morey, for helping me better understand how God<br />is shaping my one layer at a time. And, oh yeah, thanks for <br />inventing the Boogie Board, too!<br /><br />* * * * * <br />A Prayer: <br />"Father, life will always have its mysteries. Yet I know<br />that You waste none of my life experiences in working out of Your<br />Master Plan. <br /><br />Help me to be teachable, open, humble, discerning<br />and available as I go through the various chapters and seasons of<br />my life. May Your kingdom come and Your will be done as each<br />layer of my life experience leads to the next one. And may all things<br />work to Your Greater Glory in Jesus Christ, Amen".<div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-54716368156891413142010-07-30T04:01:00.000-07:002010-07-30T04:09:06.451-07:00A Hidden Healing, Part TwoThis is from my weekly newsletter "Gracelets". Enjoy! <br /><br />* * * * * * * * <br /><br />In Part One, I introduced the story of one of the most remarkable healings I have ever witnessed - even though I was not aware of it at the time it was taking place. The entire story can be found in my book, How Healed Do You Want to Be?<br /><br />On the day this hidden healing took place, I was in charge of hosting a conference of Christian singles at our church. During the opening worship time, I had asked all of the conference participants to join me on the large step area in front of the platform on which the worship band was playing so that we could make up an ad hoc worship choir singing directly to the Lord as our only "audience".<br /><br />After hearing one young woman's outstanding voice nearby me on the steps, I arranged to have her join the band and sing into the microphone. Tapping her on the shoulder, I made the invitation while the band played on. Confused at first, she eventually understood that she was being invited to join in and she did. It was beautiful.<br /><br />After the morning session, she came to me and expressed deep appreciation for what I had asked her to do. At first, I did not understand that something powerful had taken place for her. As her eyes filled with tears, she told me the "story behind the story".<br /><br />What I learned continues here:<br /><br />"A few years ago," she said, "I was a worship leader in my church back home. At the time I was married and had a family. But I made a huge mistake. I had an affair with a married man who led worship at another church." She paused to regain her composure. "Once everything came to light, it broke up both of our families. Of course, we were each asked to step down from our roles by the leaders of our churches. From there things just got worse."<br /><br />She paused again, then continued:<br /><br />"I felt like my whole world was falling apart," she told me. "We soon broke off our relationship for good, and I tried to go back and make things right with God and with the people I had hurt. But it's been really hard. I haven't been able to forgive myself for what I did with all the blessings and gifts God has given me. I have pretty much <br />hated myself ever since."<br /><br />As I listened, my heart went out to her. I wanted to respond but before I could she said something I will never forget:<br /><br />"When you tapped me on the shoulder this morning, my first thought was that someone had told you about me and that you were going to ask me to sit down..."<br /><br />I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Is that what she thought of me? Is that what she thought of herself -- a candidate for public shaming? <br /><br />"Before today, I had concluded that God never wanted to hear my voice in church again," she sobbed. "But when you got my attention this morning, you didn't ask me to sit down. You told me my voice was beautiful and that I should go up and sing with the band into the microphone. You'll never know what you did for me today. God<br />used you to let me know I am truly forgiven. Now I know I can be restored. I will never be able to thank you enough"...<br /><br />I am humbled when I recall how God used me (without my knowing it) to accomplish a "hidden healing". I wonder how many hidden healings you have been a part of?<br /><br />* * * * * <br />Perhaps you need a safe place where you can invite God's healing life and light to transform you and turn your heartaches into hope? If I can help you as a counselor, don't hesitate to contact me by phone or email.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-38222078542375386912010-07-23T08:26:00.001-07:002010-07-23T08:41:02.868-07:00A Hidden Healing, part one<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPYLpgxoWpvDVgKMJQl18Nma6IcV9w8xpuxwQQMxwH66MeuONi-8GCXm805kwdWnedhf2qhRNGHKMYtyy7qZBRRZ8o2OZHJsyPtFxajq1T-g-N-CXj7ER-qi52yDB7hB9R6Pe7D7JJkmqP/s1600/xrayglasses.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 190px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPYLpgxoWpvDVgKMJQl18Nma6IcV9w8xpuxwQQMxwH66MeuONi-8GCXm805kwdWnedhf2qhRNGHKMYtyy7qZBRRZ8o2OZHJsyPtFxajq1T-g-N-CXj7ER-qi52yDB7hB9R6Pe7D7JJkmqP/s320/xrayglasses.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5497127125331377138" /></a><br /> A "Hidden Healing" Part One<br /><br />By William T "Bill" Faris, MPC"<br /> Reprinted from my “Gracelets” Newsletter<br /> <br />One of the most unforgettable healing experiences I ever witnessed happened without my knowing it - until it was revealed to me in a surprising interaction after the fact. I describe this healing event as a "hidden healing" in my book, How Healed Do You Want to Be?<br /><br />On the day this hidden healing took place, I was in charge of hosting a conference of Christian singles at our church. About 100 of us <br />had come together to begin the first morning of the conference with a time of praise and worship. As the music swelled, I was soon <br />caught up in the atmosphere of music, devotion and celebration. There was liberty and joy in that room and, before long, it seemed <br />as if the line between heaven and earth had somehow blurred.<br /><br />Suddenly, I was struck with an inspiration to try something I had never tried before. Between songs, I went to the microphone and <br />asked everyone in the room to please come to the front platform and stand on the steps that led up to the area where the band was<br />playing their instruments. In only a moment, we had moved from our seats "in the audience" to joining the band as a sort of ad hoc one hundred voice worship choir. We resumed with hearty praise as we sang to the Lord -- our "audience of One". It was awesome!<br /><br />It wasn't long before I noticed a particularly wonderful female voice coming from somewhere nearby me. It was beautiful, strong<br />and striking indeed. "That voice needs to be on a microphone", I said to myself as I slipped over to quickly consult with the worship <br />leader. He pointed to the open mic and I returned to where I had been standing while the band continued playing and the voices <br />joined together on another song. I gently tapped the young woman with the outstanding voice on the shoulder and she turned to see <br />that it was me who wanted her attention. .<br /><br />I pointed to the open mic and urged her to please sing into it. She looked a bit stunned at first. When I assured her that I was truly <br />urging her to go up and sing into the mic she made her way there and joined in with the band. As I expected, her rich voice added<br />even more to the beauty and power of that morning's experience.<br /><br />After the morning session concluded, I was surprised to see the young lady singer making a bee line for me. "You'll never know <br />what this morning meant to me", she said. "Great", I replied in my best pastoral tone. "I'm glad to hear it.". <br /><br />She looked at me again as tears filled up her eyes. "No, you don't understand.... A few years ago I was a worship leader in my church<br />back home. At the time I was married and had a family. But I made a huge mistake. I had an affair with a married man who led worship <br />at another church." She paused to regain her composure... <br /><br />* * * * *<div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-26709293692545963512010-07-09T18:16:00.000-07:002010-07-09T18:17:22.047-07:00Spiritual Abuse (if the church hurt you, let it heal you - part three of three)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 17px; ">Spiritual abuse is a real phenomenon. According to authors David Johnson and Jeff <span scaytid="6" scayt_word="VanVonderen" style="background-image: url(data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhBAADAIABAP8NDQAAACH5BAEAAAEALAAAAAAEAAMAAAIFRB5mGQUAOw==) !important; background-attachment: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; padding-bottom: 0px !important; text-decoration: none !important; white-space: nowrap !important; background-position: 50% 100%; background-repeat: repeat no-repeat !important; ">VanVonderen</span>:<br /><br /><em>"It's possible to become so determined to defend a spiritual place of authority, a doctrine or a way of doing things that you wound and abuse anyone who questions, or disagrees, or doesn't 'behave' spiritually the way you want them to. When your words and actions tear down another, or attack or weaken a person's standing as a Christian - to gratify you, your position or your beliefs while at the same time weakening or harming another - that is spiritual abuse".</em><br /><span style="font-size: 10px; ">(From the book: <em>The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse</em>).</span><br /><br />Of course, spiritual abuse is easier to detect in kooky religious cults than it is in more mainstream churches. But that doesn't mean that this kind of abuse does not take place in a wide variety of faith communities. And, when you think about the intensity, vulnerability and transcendent nature of shared faith, it is not hard to understand how there could also be a potentially abusive "flip side" to the benefits of deep faith-oriented relationships.<br /><br />What to Look For<br /><br />There comes a time when those who are seeking freedom from the effects of spiritual abuse should find a healthy connection to a life-giving body of believers. There are a number of factors that distinguish healthy spiritual environments from unhealthy or abusive ones. <br /><br />Three such factors are an <em>accountable leadership, a commitment to scriptural orthodoxy </em>and <em>an atmosphere of grace and truth</em>. No one particular size, style, "brand" or modality of church has the corner on these qualities. Therefore, a prospective new member of a church -especially someone who is recovering from a spiritually abusive situation -should be sure to personally interview church leaders and members about their faith community. <br /><br /><strong>Accountable leaders</strong> understand themselves to be part of a larger leadership community and are accountable for their moral, spiritual and personal behavior not only in theory but in practice. When asked: "to whom, besides the Lord, are you accountable?" these leaders are able to name names. Those who are vague in their sense of accountability should be avoided. Those who revel in their "special calling" so that they are virtually entitled to a lack of personal accountability should be doubly avoided. <strong><br /><br />Scriptural orthodoxy</strong> may seem like an obvious requirement but some churches or groups only appear to hold orthodox interpretations of Scripture when, in actuality, they emphasize pet beliefs or practices that depart from "the faith once for all entrusted to the saints" (Jude, <span scaytid="1" scayt_word="v.3" style="background-image: url(data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhBAADAIABAP8NDQAAACH5BAEAAAEALAAAAAAEAAMAAAIFRB5mGQUAOw==) !important; background-attachment: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; padding-bottom: 0px !important; text-decoration: none !important; white-space: nowrap !important; background-position: 50% 100%; background-repeat: repeat no-repeat !important; ">v.3</span>). A quick review of a church's published Statement of Faith is probably not enough to tell you what you need to know about what a particular church "majors" and "minors" in. But if you observe how that church uses its time, talent and treasure you will see what is truly important to that particular community.<br /><br />Finally, an <strong>atmosphere of grace and truth </strong>describes the overall environment of a particular body of believers. Where there is a commitment to truth; moral and personal standards remain high. Trust is earned, not demanded and the church's sense of mission reflects the priorities of Jesus. Grace, properly understood, is not another name for "sloppy agape". Rather it is seen as both God's provision of mercy for our shortcomings and His endowment of divine energy that transforms us more and more into the image of Christ.<br /><br />Over the course of my ministry and personal spiritual development I have witnessed spiritual abuse AND recovery from spiritual abuse. If you, or someone you know, needs to speak confidentially with a counseling professional about these issues, feel free to contact me at <a href="http://www.mypastoralcounselor.com/" _fcksavedurl="http://www.mypastoralcounselor.com" target="_self"><span scaytid="2" scayt_word="bill@mypastoralcounselor.com" style="background-image: url(data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhBAADAIABAP8NDQAAACH5BAEAAAEALAAAAAAEAAMAAAIFRB5mGQUAOw==) !important; background-attachment: initial !important; background-origin: initial !important; background-clip: initial !important; background-color: transparent !important; padding-bottom: 0px !important; text-decoration: none !important; white-space: nowrap !important; background-position: 50% 100%; background-repeat: repeat no-repeat !important; ">bill@mypastoralcounselor.com</span></a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-18353127465959766182010-07-05T12:08:00.000-07:002010-07-05T12:10:49.308-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span>If the Church Hurt You, Let the Church Heal You (Part Two)</span></b></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"></span></b><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">By William T "Bill" Faris, MPC"</span></em><strong><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></strong><strong><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></strong></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; "><strong><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">NOTE: </span></i></strong><strong><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I'm reprinting this from my weekly "Gracelets" email newsletter. If you do not yet receive Gracelets and would like to, simply email me at: Bill@mypastoralcounselor.com</span></i></strong><strong><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></strong><strong><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">In the meantime, enjoy! ---</span></i></strong><strong><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></strong><strong><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">* * * * * * * * </span></i></strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />I recently met up with old friends who shared with me their disappointments and hurts regarding their various church experiences. They confessed that they were now "mad at God". One of them told me that they had no immediate plans to seek further church involvement.<br /><br /></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Only Option?<br /></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />It's not that I don't understand my friend's inclination to back away from the church altogether. There are a host of people who have made the choice to stay away from the church rather that to risk further personal, emotional or spiritual injury. But is a church boycott the only option? I think not. In fact, I believe it is important for those who have experienced hurt in the church to find their healing there. The best case scenario for my friends would be for them to find a healthy, life-giving and wholesome connection to the Body of Christ.<br /><br />If you, or someone you know, has experienced deep hurt in the church, I would like to offer a couple of pointers to help the restoration and recovery process move through the pain to a stronger, healthier, more fruitful place.<br /><br />* Look at your own contribution to the hurt you have experienced<br /><br />It is likely that you made at least some contribution to the wounding you have experienced. Personal immaturity, carryover from family issues, personal agendas for recognition, leftover pain from previous church hurts, idealistic expectations, unscriptural notions of church life and other factors may have set you up for the hurt you have known. Debriefing your church hurts with a trusted friend or counselor can help you to uncover some of these "setups". You probably won't see them on your own.<br /><br />There was a time in my life when my own craving for affirmation and recognition made me blind to the serious brokenness of the leader I was following at the time (he was our church's founding pastor). When his downfall came, I was shocked and scandalized. Looking back, I can see that there were plenty of signs that he was nurturing unhealthy attitudes and behaviors. I had ignored them, however, for my own reasons. While his contribution to my pain was plain enough, I have to also admit that I had set myself up to be hurt. Recognizing our "setups" can help us grow from the painful experiences we undergo.<br /><br />* Separate church hurt from God hurt.<br /><br /></span><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"If you've been burned, here's what I've learned - the Lord's not the One to blame".</span></em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> These lyrics from CCM pioneer Keith Green point out the fact that we can sometimes confuse the church with the kingdom of God or even God Himself. However, the church is NOT the kingdom and the kingdom is NOT the church. And neither God's kingdom nor His church are Him. Separating these entities is more important than we might think.<br /><br />God is the Master of the Universe and the Savior of our souls. He is the Perfect Lord of Life and the Head of the Church which stands apart from Him as His bride. Although blessed beyond measure with God's gifts, His graces, and His promises, the church is nevertheless a human institution. It does not exist as the Kingdom of God, but as the stewards of His kingdom. Therefore there will always be failures, shortcomings and even outright abuses within the context of church life (the New Testament epistles are filled with examples and warnings). This is because of the human factor.<br /><br />I have often said that the greatest people I have every known, the ones who mean the most to me and who inspire me most are Christians. But it is also true that the people who have most hurt, disappointed and offended me are also Christians - church people! This is a sometimes confusing paradox.<br /><br />I have most profoundly experienced the reality of God's kingdom - His rule, His reign and His manifested presence in His people - in the context of the church. But I have also experienced some of my deepest heartaches in the context of the church as well. It helps to be honest about these things!<br /><br />It also helps to note that the sense of God's power and presence in a given church or church system is not necessarily God's wholesale endorsement of that church, leader, or church system. Nor can the power and presence of God be assumed to be a divine endorsement of the various methods, doctrines or church organization as such. Recognizing these things can help us avoid our tendency to confuse "church hurt" with "God hurt". .<br /><br />* Keep it real.<br /><br />Some of our church hurts are fueled by the more unfortunate aspects of the typical church subculture. For example, a church's efforts to be highly attractive to newcomers can sometimes result in a tendency to emphasize "window dressing" while avoiding or sugarcoating the nitty-gritty issues or needs that lie unaddressed behind the scenes.<br /><br />A "powerhouse" church culture may wind up ignoring or devaluing some of the more mundane factors which will ultimately determine the emotional and spiritual health of both leaders and congregation. "Touchy-feely" churches, legalistic churches, personality-driven churches and other types of faith communities have their down sides. One way to minimize the downsides of each system is to strive to "keep it real" as believers.<br /><br />I admire author Larry Crabbe's vision for the church as a "real" environment where tough issues can be worked out in an engaging atmosphere of grace and truth. He writes that </span><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"a central task of community is to create a place that is safe enough for the walls to be torn down, safe enough for each of us to own and reveal our brokenness. Only then can the power of connecting do it job. Only then can community be used of God to restore our souls."</span></em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> (Larry Crabbe, </span><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The Safest Place on Earth</span></em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">).<br /><br />Bottom line: The more that a church can be both Spirit-filled and "real", the less it is likely to have painful booby-traps.<br />* * * * * * * *<br />One more installment in this series will be posted soon.</span></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6036086742215495701.post-74923644277670236932010-06-28T17:50:00.000-07:002010-06-28T18:00:38.786-07:00If Hurt by the Church, part one<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzTRjoqaHJnnh5vcb1CnpEeOR0ccVc7ZG3cNn93JRp1NPQMTrEvKzYnGvB7cVRO0jaLUaORvdtiDjOetPVWrMihVoq35aOX6BVKwqvjl7Nefn7gj-LnFW5trrmNKHagBt3hry2QOR1gj42/s1600/bandaid.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 319px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzTRjoqaHJnnh5vcb1CnpEeOR0ccVc7ZG3cNn93JRp1NPQMTrEvKzYnGvB7cVRO0jaLUaORvdtiDjOetPVWrMihVoq35aOX6BVKwqvjl7Nefn7gj-LnFW5trrmNKHagBt3hry2QOR1gj42/s320/bandaid.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487994066390808258" /></a><br />This is the first part of a series published in my weekly newsletter <i>Gracelets. </i>If you wish to subscribe to the newsletter, simply email me at bill@mypastoralcounselor.com<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; "><span style=" ;font-size:20px;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; "><span style=" ;font-size:20px;"><b>If the Church Hurt You,<br />Let the Church Heal You (Part One)</b></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left; "><em><span style=" ;font-size:14px;">By William T "Bill" Faris, MPC"</span></em></div></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;"><span style=" ;font-size:14px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;"><span style=" ;font-size:14px;">"I finally figured out what is wrong with the church," I once heard a Bible teacher say. "It's people. If it wasn't for people, the church would be perfect". .<br /><br /></span><span style=" ;font-size:14px;"><b>Welcome to the (Dysfunctional) Family<br /></b><br />The Bible makes it clear that the church is the family of God. The language of family abounds in Scripture. Fellow believers are referred to as "brothers" and "sisters" which, together, make up "the household of faith". This is one thing that I have always loved about being a believer. Over a lifetime, I have truly found "family" in the Body of Christ.<br /><br />Like other households in human society, however, a given church will include its own unique set of social dysfunctions. Some of these quirks show up in ways that are rather humorous. Other times we find ourselves face-to-face with the fact that some of our brothers and sisters are capable of delivering some very deep wounds.<br /></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style=" ;font-size:14px;"><br /><b>Some Categories of Church Hurt</b><br /><br />Some church wounds are social in nature. We can feel shunned, bullied, misunderstood, ignored, or manipulated by our family members at various times. This is not always intentional, but that doesn't mean it is not painful.<br /><br />Other church wounds are more intimate. These include the betrayal of trust, abandonment, false accusation, and the violation of personal and even sexual boundaries.<br /><br />Some of the deepest wounds have to do with the brokenness of church leadership. Because we tend to place very high expectations on leaders, it is not uncommon for us to feel let down by them. But when leaders manipulate their followers, take advantage of their weaknesses, "fleece" the flock financially, fall morally, or otherwise violate the faith placed in them; very high levels of pain, grief and anger result.<br /><br />Often enough, church members take sides in a leadership crisis and the resulting division of loyalties can end long friendships, split congregations and sidetrack - or even totally undermine -- the faith of weaker believers. </span></span><span style=" ;font-size:14px;"> "If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other" (Galatians 5:15). <strong><br /><br />Church Treacherous?<br /></strong><br />As a veteran of church family life and a church leader, I have both dished out and received my fair share of pain, dysfunction, mistakes, wounds and bruises. Nevertheless, I remain as committed as ever to the Body of Christ and continue to believe it to be one of the potentially richest environments for transformation, wholeness, healthy socialization, service, justice, truth and maturity on earth. Why? Because I have learned that - inasmuch as the church can hurt you - the church can heal you, too. </span></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about us at www.vcmn.org.</div>Bill Farishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567118862125603858noreply@blogger.com0